WWhat a difficulty is to accept yourself. On Earth, there are millions and millions people who can’t learn how to love themselves. It’s almost human to hate yourself! However, even though it’s not very common, lots of people succeed at releasing this judgment. Some of them were born with this state of mind and others learned how to by themselves. After all, we live with our body and our mind, we are who are and this will never change. So what are we gaining by judging and hating ourselves? Nothing. Believe me, our life will be better if we learn to love ourselves. Strangely, I am also not very confident about myself. It’s not something new, I never been confident. I think everything started because of all the bullies I faced when I was in school. People were really mean to me and I was criticize every day. It was so dumb and childish when I think of it now, but back then I used to believe everything they told me.
But after I thought about it as an adult, I realized that it was the main reason why I was so hard on myself. So I decided that I will forget about everything and start things in a better way. I didn’t want to spend my whole life thinking about those stupid immature people that I will never see again. This all ended now! The past is in the past as Queen Elsa (ndlr : Frozen) said. Why would I waste my life because of them? I also asked myself : “what did you gain by hating yourself that much?“. Nothing at all! Only anxiety, stress and the fact that I private myself to do some things that I could enjoy. So that’s why few weeks ago while I was spending a night in a Staycation hotel with pool and spa, I decided to put a swimwear on. It was a victory for me! I used to stay hidden because I wasn’t confident about my curvy body and the looks of people. I’m proud! So proud that I wanted to continue to be proud of myself. I wanted to change the way I think and to start to love myself. I want to accept myself, to be happy and I want to stop to private myself because I am not confident. Not only physically. And I would love if you, yes you, also learn to love yourself. So I am giving my advice hoping to make you feel better and that it will work for you too.
Stop comparing yourself to others
One of the main things that stop us to believe in ourselves is comparison. I bet you already compared yourself to an other person or thought that someone was better than you. Even just once. Unfortunately I think we are many. But we have to learn to release this bad habit. I know it’s not easy and I know what I’m talking about. I also often compare myself to others. But you don’t have to stop completely in a day, you can do things step-by-step. A little step forward is better than a little step backward right? Tell yourself that there is no value of comparing yourself to others because we’re all different. Each of us is unique, each of us has its own flaws. When we compare ourselves to people we take them as an example to change things in us like our weight, our style, our attitude or many more. Do you think those changes are from our heart? Nope. Imagine how your life would be if you had no examples around you, if you live only for you and you are doing things that you really love. Your life wouldn’t be better and more simple?
Learn to release judgements
We are judging ourselves constantly, sometimes even every day. We are judging ourselves so often that now it’s almost a habit. When someone compliment us we can’t stop saying “thanks but it’s not true”. Right? When we are doing something stressful, like passing an exam for example, we told ourselves “I can’t make it”. Well we spend our time judging and having negative affirmations about ourselves. We have to learn to release them and to replace them by positive affirmations. We can stop staying that we’re ugly, that can’t success in life, that we’re too fat, that we are not capable, but instead we should say the exact contrary. When you are talking positively you learn how to accept and love yourself easily. But also, you attract good vibes to you and it can change your life for real. We talk about it very often in self-development especially with the law of attraction. It’s very important to learn judge yourself less and instead embracing love and positiveness!
“I AM RELEASING SELF JUDGEMENT & EMBRACING SELF LOVE”
Accept that perfection doesn’t exist
I don’t know about you but I am huge perfectionist. I love perfection! But the problem is that perfection doesn’t exist. We are always looking for everything to be perfect, but do we really know what perfection is? We’re never happy anyway and there will always be people criticize so why do we have to bother our life with this? This search to perfection really stop us from living our life and to believe in ourselves. We want to be perfect physically and we also want our life to be perfect. But it’s not possible! Once again, as I told you before this is mainly because of the comparison we have with others. We think that those people are perfect because with our eyes they are but they’re also like us. They also think that they’re not perfect. We are not the only one and there is a part of unsatisfaction in everybody. We all think that we’re not enough and that we can improve in ourselves. It’s true because in life you can always work to be better. But it doesn’t have to an obsession and most of all you do not have to change to be like someone else. Think about if everybody copy everybody. We’re going to be clones! Wouldn’t it be sad? We are all different and never forget that we are not perfect!
Listen to yourself and ignore criticism
Like me, maybe because of people judgment you developed a lack of confidence in yourself. It’s something very common and maybe it’s one of the main reasons why we doubt to ourselves. We listen too much about the opinion of people and we are taking this as an example that we have to improved. Of course some people are good and they will give you good advice for our good. But some people are also bad and don’t want good things to happen to you. Why? Simply because they’re mean and they feel powerful by judging and hurting others. They know when someone is weak so they choose this one as it’s easier to control their mind. Also, some people judge because deep inside them they have an insecurity and their subconscious is talking instead of them. But both of them are not good! Their judgments are not who we are. We are we and we have to learn to know our values and ignore those criticism. The more you progress in life and the more you receive criticisms from haters. So ignore them so they won’t feel more powerful. They really don’t deserve it!
Take care of yourself
One last advice I have for you is to not forget to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself physically but not only. We live with this body every day so we need to take care of it and to learn to make peace with this one. When we are peaceful with ourselves we really feel better and it’s huge path towards self-confidence and self-love. As I victim of anxiety for years, sometimes I feel bad about myself and I don’t want to take care of me. I just feel terrible and I start to doubt in myself. Those situations are not good for you at all. It will make you feel worse! So please take care of you! Learn to take some time with yourself, alone, to make yourself happy (no dirty thought here but if you want to well go for it, it’s something good for yourself after all). More seriously, do more of what you love like eating your favorite dish, read a book, take a hot bath, do the job you always wanted to do, travel, listen to some music, cooking, etc. Take care of yourself will bring you so many payback and you will never regret it!